Anxious

Right now my heart rate has slowed a bit but I have really been battling the anxiety lately.  I am gearing up to run the Red Rock Relay in Park City.  I will be running with some fun mom's from my church and spending the weekend with other runners.  I get anxious every time I have to leave my home and family.  Anxiety can be debilitating for me, so much that I can't think straight or function.  I have to remind myself to breath and relax. My biggest fear is dying and leaving my family here to fend for themselves.  I am not afraid of actually dying because I know that there is life after death.  I just don't want to leave my kids.  So I can't die for another 20 years.  Sometimes, I always go to worse case scenario.  I still have to pack and get the house in order before I leave this afternoon.  But I can't bring myself to do it.  So I will sit here and write about it.