Thursday, February 2, 2012
Here is a book that might interest all of you. If you have perfect children and you are the perfect parent, then you can ignore this post. This book really gets to the root of why children 'need' so many 'things' to be happy. Why is our country in so much debt? Do we feel entitled to that new car, new furniture, and big house? We work hard-- don't we deserve toys? All of us have a desire to reward our children for good behavior, chores, good grades, or because we like them so much. Where do we draw the line at paying kids for chores? Shouldn't chores be done to better the house and family.
I dare say that our children have more than we could ever dreamed of as a kid. Growing up I loved clothes(I still do). During these growing years, I never had many clothes to spare. I was the oldest, therefore, I didn't benefit from hand-me-downs. I remember standing in front of my closet and wishing for more options(I still do this too). OK, my point is that my humble circumstances made me a better person. BUT my kids have more clothes than they know what to do with. Yes, I am compensating for lack of in my younger years. I found a way to give them more options by shopping post season sales and saving the clothes for the following year.
The funny thing is---my girls don't really care what they wear. I go down to their rooms and the clothes are scattered all over their rooms. They don't feel any ownership over these clothes.
Do our kids feel ownership for any of their 'stuff'?
This book is really good at helping you decide what we could do as parents to help our children feel responsible for their choices. Is it Mom's fault if they forget their homework or backpack. One morning after getting the kids on the bus I came home and found that my daughter forgot her homework. So, I rushed it out to the school and beat the bus there. Nice mom, Right??? Well, later I realized that I didn't teach her a thing. How is she going to learn to remember these things, if mom is going to bail her out? Are we guilty of stepping into conflicts to save our children from feeling bad about a decision they have made. Believe me I feel for my kids and would love to put a bubble around them, but if I want them to succeed as adults, I can't do this. I want my children to contribute to society. Learn that if the job is done without pay, just as well. It is what I once heard as a 'invisible reward.' You can purchase the book here.