Right now my heart rate has slowed a bit but I have really been battling the anxiety lately. I am gearing up to run the Red Rock Relay in Park City. I will be running with some fun mom's from my church and spending the weekend with other runners. I get anxious every time I have to leave my home and family. Anxiety can be debilitating for me, so much that I can't think straight or function. I have to remind myself to breath and relax. My biggest fear is dying and leaving my family here to fend for themselves. I am not afraid of actually dying because I know that there is life after death. I just don't want to leave my kids. So I can't die for another 20 years. Sometimes, I always go to worse case scenario. I still have to pack and get the house in order before I leave this afternoon. But I can't bring myself to do it. So I will sit here and write about it.